The Person You Have Not Forgiven Yet

There is someone.

You know who. You do not need me to name them or the situation. It is already here, has been here, maybe for a long time. Sitting somewhere in your body. In your chest, maybe. Or in that tight place at the back of your jaw where anger likes to live.

The person you have not forgiven yet.

Let me be very clear about something. This is not a forgiveness exercise. I am not going to ask you to let go, to make peace, to release what happened into the universe. You may not be ready for that. You may never be. And that is your decision, not mine.

What this is... is a visit. A quiet one. To the edge of something. Not to jump. Just to stand near it. To see what is there.

Bring them to mind. Not the version of them you are angry at. Not the version caught in the moment that broke something. Just... them. As a person. A human being who existed before that moment and after it. Someone who was once a child. Who has probably been hurt themselves. Who probably carries things you will never know about.

That does not excuse what they did. Absolutely not. Understanding is not the same as excusing. But it creates a tiny bit of space. Just enough to breathe in.

Notice what happens in your body when you think of them. The tension. The heat. The tightness. These are real. They live in you. And here is the uncomfortable truth: the person who caused them may not be thinking about this at all right now. They may be at dinner. Watching television. Sleeping soundly.

Meanwhile, this feeling lives in your body. Rent free. Taking up space in your chest, your jaw, your sleep.

Forgiveness, when it comes, is not about them. It is about reclaiming that space. Getting your body back from something that was done to you.

But today, you do not have to forgive. Today, all you have to do is notice. Just notice where it lives. Just sit near the edge of it without falling in.

Take a breath. In through the nose. Feel it move past the tight places.

And breathe out. Not releasing the feeling. Just breathing alongside it. Coexisting with something difficult, without letting it run the room.

Whatever happens with this, on whatever timeline, in whatever way feels true for you... it is yours to decide. Not today. Not right now. Just... eventually. When you are ready. If you ever are.

And if you are never ready, that is also allowed.

You came here. You sat near something painful. That took more courage than most people will ever use.

That is enough for today.

...